


Looking skyward...

by VNVdarkangel



Series: Love Live Mesh Music AU [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: AU, Alternate Character Interpretation, F/F, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 14:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20360413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VNVdarkangel/pseuds/VNVdarkangel
Summary: Maki and Umi are friends and bandmates. Music AU.(I really don't know how to write this summary)





	Looking skyward...

**Author's Note:**

> This work is an experiment, both in writing AUs and writing style. So please regard is as such. I'm still learning.  
Writing this AU was inspired by my in-universe work "Meet'n'greet".
> 
> The characters retain some traits, but are alternate interpretations of their Love Live counterparts.
> 
> EDIT: Some minor alterations in Nico's dialogue and mode of speech, also some fixes to the dialogue in the latter half of the text.
> 
> There will be some more chapters coming flashing out certain parts in the narrative. Please be patient. :)

The stage is dark, the illumination from the various intermittent rigs provide the only permanent kind of light. There is a scurry of activity of the stage crew around the center of the stage, setting up a triangular projection screen. The cones of flashlights move in an erratic dance around the stage as the stagehands run around, fixing the last details for the desired setup.

All this is hidden from the audience, curtesy of a thick black felt curtain that spans the front and sides of the stage. The felt dampens the sounds both from and to the stage, but that cannot diminish the sense of anticipation from the audience side of the curtain. The warmer, a local band, finished their set some time ago and the pulse of the crowd has only gone up since. They are waiting, eager and ready. It will be soon.

There is a last check with the musicians sounding off, getting confirmation from the mixing desk in the middle of the sea of people. All is primed, they are set.

Maki Nishikino, also known as the Red Princess, closes her eyes and gently touches the keys on her master control keyboard. She is surrounded by advanced music technology, both modern and vintage. Mountain ranges of white and black keys can be seen around her, arranged in a U-shape several levels high. To the right in front of her is a large transparent surface with a few simple graphics laid out. Unnecessary she thinks, but the crowd loves these kinds of technical tour de force items that basically only are useful when you want to show that there is a craft and a skill to playing keyboards. She whispers ‘Maki, go.’ into her fitted microphone that jots front from her right earpiece.

The other stage musicians, completing their own rituals, signal each other and verbally give the all clear to the stage head.

Not on the stage, but in a room close to the stage, the singer known as Straight Arrow, is readying herself. Slowly rising from meditation, activating her voice, doing a few scales in various octaves. She feels ready, she steps into a booth with a clear glass wall to one side. Checking her microphone, she confirms the reception of the stage audio. Outside the booth, on a monitor just above a camera that is aimed square at the glass pane she sees a figure forming. Her avatar. Standing in front of all those people in audience would never work, but here, with the abstraction of video art, she can sing. She can sing the lyrics that she, sometimes Maki in collaboration, have created, born from heartache, hope, love and longing. An opus of the soul. She speaks a clear ‘Umi, go!” into her microphone.

The show can begin.

The audience starts to cheer as the venue light dim. It is time.

A voice comes over the headsets: “Music: Start”

Maki presses down several keys on her keyboard as she starts to play the background sweep of the intro. Stage lighting starts up, but the curtain stays down. The cheering of the crowd gets louder as some stray stage light passes though holes in the curtain. Maki can see the mirrored Greek letter as the light from the stage hits the inner surface of the curtain. ‘Just as always’, she thinks as the cries from the people intensifies.

The first line of lyric echoes through the venue: “There's a part of me that has no fear”. The crowd cheers even louder. They know this song by heart.

As the lyrics continue flow out of over the venue and Maki’s synth sweeps give them a mat to rest on, the projectors on the stage start up, throwing a picture of a human shape onto the reflective projection fabric. The verse continues, the drummer appears to wake up from a trance and starts to match the beat they can all hear in the headsets from the metronome. Just a steady beat from the bass drum, no frills or fills. Only the steady beating of the song, sometimes thumping a double beat as to have heart.

Maki has heard this song so often now, she did after all write most of the lyrics too, never mind composed it, but every time the line ‘with our lips less awkward’ comes, her mind shows her those lips. The lips she wants to feel on hers. But will she?

Soon at the chorus, the other musician on the stage, a guitarist starts to nod to the beat. The androgynous looks betraying a secret no one has figured out yet, except for Maki.

“You know…”

The curtain falls and glancing through her hair held in place by a black beanie, she can see the crowd. They are elated, smiling, singing, cheering, crying. A cacophony of emotions painted onto a crowd of thousands. The song goes into its’ first chorus, the front row of people are reaching up their hands as the pyrotechnics shower them with confetti and the strobes flash onto them.

“We belong together”

The guitarist plays a first chord.

“You’ve got no idea”

Maki can see the drummer tense, this is where he begins to roll, Maki reaches to her right and plays the upper chorus melody on a different instrument, effects doubling and delaying her strokes.

“Just leave us alone”

Maki draws in breath and readies herself.

“Just leave us alone”, she sings.

The song continues.

* * *

She turned the corner of their shared flat to the living room and found Umi in tears. Her phone loosely hanging from her hand, dangling precariously.

Maki rushed to her friend’s side, trying to give comfort, but she didn’t know how. She quickly grabbed the phone as it was about to fall and put it on the table.

“It’s over.”, Umi managed to say through the tears.

“What is over? What is going on?”, Maki asked, certain that answers would be punctuated by sobs.

“They… they… “, Umi tried, but the rise and fall of Umi’s tears knew no end. Maki waited patiently.

Umi started to get a semblance of her old self back, she took deep breaths, large drops of tears staining her top.

Umi straightened herself, breathed in deeply and said calmly: “My parents have disowned me.”

Maki gaped. Had she heard right? Disowned?

“Dis… disowned? Why?”

“They don’t approve of my life choices, the band, the music. My... my… preferences. Father was… shouting”, Umi blushed.

Maki took a few seconds to fully understand what this meant.

“What? Wait... your…. preferences?”, she asked tentatively.

“I... I..”, Umi looked away, “It’s shameless… I like… girls.”

Maki stared at her friend. This was new information.

“You like girls?”, she hesitated to press further but went for it, “Since when? And with who?”

Umi fell forward, letting the pillows on the floor catch her. She turned and looked dreamily up at the ceiling.

“It was in high-school. There was this most wonderful girl, small and pretty like a bird. I… loved her.”

She sighed.

“I think she loved me too, it got serious. But she was going away. So, the last night we had… we... did… it”

Maki was aghast. She had lived with Umi for a few years since it made practical sense for the band that they lived close together as to hash out ideas and songs whenever they had inspiration. But this was the first time she heard of her friends’ tastes. What should she do? Tell her the truth about herself? But the fact remained, Umi had gone further than Maki had ever dreamed. Not that she had much of a choice. There were expectations to live up to. But Umi had tried that too, and it had now apparently cost her everything.

“It’s…”, Maki tried to reassure her friend, “ok. I’m your friend. I will not abandon you. I’ll help with what I can.”

“You would?” Umi’s face hovered inches from Maki’s. “Would you… no… it is wrong of me to ask. Forget it.”

Maki was confused, hadn’t she just said that she would help?

“Just tell me. It’s fine.”, she encouraged.

“You sure? Well… if I asked you… would you kiss me?”, Umi’s eyes look straight into Maki’s.

What did she just ask me? thought Maki, feeling herself blushing. It was not that she minded, Umi was certainly attractive… but she wasn’t into her. It would be wrong. She would be giving Umi a temporary boost at best, only to let her down when she couldn’t follow through.

“Umi… I… can’t do that. It would be wrong. Wait… let me explain.”

Maki cupped Umi’s face.

“It would just be a temporary relief, and then I’d hurt you when I couldn’t go further. I will support and help you. But it will be so that you get better yourself. So that you get better overall, not just right now.”

She was hoping Umi’s reason was still in there somewhere under all the emotional baggage that clearly had been knocked around in there.

Umi stared at Maki for a while, leaning into her hands.

“You’re right. It would not be fair to you. And to me. Thank you for being a good friend”

With that Umi stood up and smiled weakly at Maki.

“Let’s create something. I have something to say.”

They had gone to their favorite bar, located close by, and had sat in a booth, isolated from the other patron, mostly scene people and had written.

It had been an evening full of tears, words, aches and close calls. The drinks kept coming in the pace they were drinking, the barkeep an old friend. They had argued over specific passages and what they alluded to. Maki felt responsible for getting her friend home, so she moderated her drink, Umi did not and as time went on her, otherwise stoic, self-control waivered.

When SHE arrived, Maki knew that is was over, both for Umi and herself. They had been deep in thought over a passage when a presence suddenly made itself known.

“I’d open with that line and let the rest of the song be as it is. Also, refills?”

Both turned towards the new voice. Umi more slowly than Maki. In either case it was too late. Maki caught the first of it. Red intense, sharp, almost like the bore of a gun, eyes coupled with raven black hair, tied into two pigtails. Make couldn’t help but to stare as a heat long repressed started to make itself known.

Umi, haven taken in the eyes and the slim body said: “You’re pretty.”, in a drunken slur.

“And you’re drunk!”, came the razor-sharp reply.

Umi straightened in her seat.

“Yes, I am. I have no problem admitting that I probably had a bit too much to drink. But that doesn’t change the face that you are pretty.”

The raven-head seemed to consider this for a moment.

“Ok, as long as you can admit that. Nico thanks you.”, there was a glint of… something else than service in her eye.

“Who?” Maki asked, feeling confused by the turn of phrase.

“Nico. Me,”

“Oh, why do you…”

“Never mind that, now do you want refills?”

Maki and Umi looked at each other. Maki decided.

“Yes.”, and as Nico turned to leave, Maki said to Umi, “Stay awake, I’ll be right back” and followed Nico for a few steps until they were out of earshot of their booth.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Nico is busy helping her uncle with the customers, but sure, I can spare a few. You’re going to tell me to stop laying on your girlfriend?”

“What? Girlfriend? Umi? No.”, Maki expostulated, then calmed herself, “We’re not an item. She’s my friend and flat mate.”

“Then what?”

“Her family just cut her off for being… well... who she is. And…”

Nico interrupted her again: “She’s into girls.”

“You knew?”

“The way she shamelessly undressed Nico with her eyes, it wasn’t hard to figure out.”, Nico replied in a nonchalant tone.

Maki could not believe this Nico; she was the picture of self-confidence and so smug. Extremely annoying too. But… in Maki’s eyes probably the most interesting person she’d ever met.

“Don’t you do it too, Princess.”

“What? No, I wasn’t! Wait... Princess? But how…”

“You’re easy to spot. And I know the scene. You’re big with your Greek letter thing. I take it you both write?”

It took Maki a few seconds to recover.

“Umi writes, I help sometimes. It’s nothing special.”

“Ok, fine. But we’re getting off topic. You want me to stay away from her.”

“No, that’s not my choice to make. But please, she’s emotionally very fragile. If something does happen, please don’t give her false hopes. That’s all I ask.”

“If you would have assumed to know what is best for her and not allowed her to choose for herself, I would have slapped you right here and now.” Nico’s eyes were ablaze with rage, but softened almost immediately, “You’re concerned about her, you care. And you trust her to make her own choices.”

She inhaled.

“And you ask, don’t demand. Nico promises to be honest with Umi on what Nico can give. Ok?”

“Sure, thanks.”

“Besides. Nico knows what and who she wants but Nico also sees that she’ll have to wait.”

With that Nico turned and walked towards the bar. Maki went back to their booth. Umi was still writing. Who was Nico waiting for, Maki wondered.

“You know…”, Umi said, slightly steadier, “she was right. It does work better here. And… wasn’t she just lovely… we should ask her to join us.”

“Umi, focus!”, but Maki knew it was no use. Umi’s mind was already somewhere else, doing something else.

Maki collected their notes and let the evening continue. The drinks kept coming, but with only Nico serving them. Apparently, she also changed their orders slightly moving Umi to non-alcohol and keeping Maki’s light on the booze.

The hours expanded into the early hours of morning and they were left alone as the bar started to close. As Nico approached, quite clearly to ask them to leave, Umi got up, took hold of Nico’s hands and asked her straight.

“Will you come home with me?”, there was not way it could be interpreted in any other way than Umi wanted it to be.

Nico thought a bit, looked at Maki, who just looked back with a pleading expression.

“Only if you understand that I cannot give you what you want. I can only give you what you need right now.”

Umi, to all her credit, didn’t flinch. “I know.”, she said, “but I’m ok with that.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. I need to close up, could you wait outside while I get ready?”

“Sure.” Umi started to walk towards the door.

“Princess.” Nico pressed a key into her hand and whispered. “This is to the flat on top of the bar. Don’t worry, nobody is there or will be coming and it’s clean. I know you care for your friend, but I don’t think you want to be home tonight. Nico knows these things. Come home tomorrow noonish. She’ll understand. Trust Nico!”

And with that she was left to her own devices. Maki reluctantly joined Umi outside, waiting for Nico. As she arrived Maki excused herself with giving Umi some privacy and that she’d see her tomorrow and that everything was fine.

That had been the beginning of Maki’s heartache.

* * *

The last chords of “Leave you nothing” fade out. The crowd cheers in ecstasy. The musicians can feel the energy coming from the crowd, the unreserved emotions that flows over them in waves. One second happy and elated, the next sad and hurt. It just goes on.

The MC comes out on the stage and a single spotlight, located somewhere in the rafters, trains its’ beam on her. She welcomes everyone, thanks them for coming out and talks about the last time they were here. Maki braces herself for what is to come. Everything in rehearsed and polished to the last second. Nothing is going to be left to chance. We are professionals, this is what we do, so we do it right, is what they keep saying to each other on the occasions where nerves make themselves apparent. For the audience there is nothing less to give than perfection. They should leave fulfilled and wanting more at the same time. The eternal walk on the wire. Neither falling nor reaching the end. And jumping only when there is another wire.

“And now, our band tonight: on drums, the fastest pair of limbs in the east, Sticks.” It is silly, they rarely use their own names if they don’t have to. For the ones that play a tour with them it is no different. Though in some cases they silly outweighs the name selection, and sometimes a name is in itself an alias simply because it is either so obscure or so common. Hiding in the middle of the road, unseen and unnoticed.

The audience cheers at the quiet man behind the drums. As an acknowledgement he launches into a small 30-second solo. Every night it is a different one. ‘We should get him on every tour’, Maki thinks. He causes no scandals and is focused on his art, a professional. She likes that.

“Next up on guitar: the orange feline, Rin!” More cheering. Rin plays a soft guitar solo that with just a few notes speak of melancholy. Rin finishes with a power chord that reverberates throughout the venue. More cheering from the crowd.

“And so: inside her keyboard castle, the Red Princess!” The crows cheer as Maki, having already selected the sound of a grand piano on the master keyboard, plays a few bars from Chopin’s Moonlight Sonata. Over the sea of people, small lights start to appear and wave in rhythm to the melody. Mobile flashlights, serving the purpose of lighters in the modern age. Some pulsing, others switching colours. Maki extends her section with a few more bars until she is satisfied and sustains her last chord over the cheer. Maybe some will go home and listen to it when the night is over, she thinks. Music is her lifeblood. She’s happy she can share it.

“Finally:”, the MC announces, “our songbird, our voice in the darkness, the sound of a single feeling in a hurricane of emotions. Shooting straight for the heart. You know her as: Straight Arrow!”

The cheer reaches a new crescendo as more and more lights signal in the ocean in front of the stage. The projected avatar takes a bow and Umi’s voice booms over the venue: “Thank you again for coming. You’re a wonderful audience. Thank you. One and all!”

With that Umi steps on a button in her booth and the avatar, probably the best stage presence ever built by Ayase Electronics, starts to become more human in appearance, rapidly switching between different faces that have been scanned from the audience until it is just a blur with steady eyes and lips. The lips open and Umi starts to sing. The lines are from Shakespeare, the arrangement by Maki. The audience grows silent as only Umi’s voice echoes in the warm atmosphere of the venue.

As the words float through the space, Maki turns and starts to play slow, soft chords on a vintage string machine. Filtered and processed it forms a carpet of soft sound, cushioning the bard’s words against the silence. Small beacons come alight all over, creating a star sky that reaches from the floor to the stands. The avatar pulses with the strength of the voice, becoming almost obscure when she is silent.

As Umi and Maki end the song, plunging the stage into a new darkness the crowd applauds, cheers are heard and shouts of “We love you.” and “Wow” reach them. The gamble payed off. The have one more surprise song in store, but that will come later.

Silence starts to fall again.

Time to get the pulse up again, thinks Maki, checks the setlist on her small display. She hears a “Go!” from the mixing desk.

Maki turns so she faces another stack of keyboards, reaches out her right hand and starts playing the stabby ladder, listening to the soft tick of a metronome in her headset to match the tempo.

Stage light pulses as the stabs come through the speakers.

“It takes a long time to fall….”

Umi’s singing punches the air. Words fill the space left behind

“.. when this life is…”

“GONE”

The stage explodes with light as the song begins in earnest, beats hammering from the speakers.

* * *

It lasted for two months.

Nico never broke her word, she never hurt Umi or was unclear on why she was with her and what she felt. To Nico it was simple: she was giving comfort to a soul in a way Maki could not. She liked Umi, she was attracted to her physically, but her heart belonged to someone else, but she didn’t say who.

As days turned into weeks, Nico became a common sight in Maki’s and Umi’s flat. They had dinner together, Nico turned out to be a great cook, watched movies together and they talked and listened to music, both old and new. She kept in the background when Maki and Umi wrote songs, coming with the occasional suggestion or rephrasing to make it work better. And she talked about how to stage it. She seemed to know a lot of people in the scene, from roadies to managers. They never really understood how or why.

Nico helped Umi move on, to accept who she was and to forgive her parents, though she was still sad. Although Umi had steadfastly refused to even attempt to contact her parents again, Nico managed to convince her to write them a letter, laying out her feeling, her fears, her love, her sadness and the emptiness she felt of the loss of family. They spend many evenings writing and rewriting the letter, every word being a battle accompanied by tears. But it got done in the end.

The biggest payoff they felt would be that it didn’t get returned to sender. Even if they would never know if it got read, having just arrived was a victory. After another week a postcard arrived with four words on the back. The last word was “Mother”. When Umi picked up the card to look at it she had frozen. She’d stood in the hallway, when Maki arrived home shortly after, Umi holding on to the card with the lightest of touches and the tears running down her cheeks, staining the carpet. Maki had looked at the card, taken it from Umi’s hand and hugged her friend. When Nico arrived a few hours later, she looked at the card, smiled and proceeded to hug Umi. Umi said ‘thank you’. More would probably have ruined the moment.

The liaison Umi and Nico had established kept Maki mostly out of their way. They actively tried to keep things hidden or innocent when Maki was around. A sly look there, a squeeze of an arm her, but nothing more overt. Maki had told them several times that it was ok, but Umi would only reply “Shameless” and drop the topic.

During all this time, whenever Maki saw them, she felt a pang of jealousy. She also wanted that warm feeling they had, but as time passed and she struck out on her own, distracting herself, she arrived at a revelation that made her hurt even more than just simple jealousy.

She didn’t just want the feeling.

She wanted the source of that feeling.

She wanted Nico.

As the awareness of her feelings and the potentially explosive situation it might perpetuate increased Maki actively started to structure her life as to minimize her interactions with Umi and Nico as a couple and instead deal with Umi on her own and avoid Nico.

However, she twisted her life, some situations could not be avoided. In those she tried not to glance over at them too often. She attempted to distract herself more but ended up feeling emptier until she simply gave up, facing the pain with stubborn determination. Writing lyrics and composing music became her solace, her small hide away, a place where the pain could be open, but still hidden. She occasionally played some of the compositions for Umi who was enthralled by the depth of emotion that Maki was able to put into not just tones and sounds, but words.

Playing the live shows, Maki become a more of a visible fixture, sometimes taking the center place. She was still billed as a supporting musician than a member, but the secret was an open acknowledged one. Nico was at every concert, introducing people, managing them, making deals on their behalf. They hadn’t even asked her. Umi could handle her stage-fright most of the time, and with the inclusion of an active Maki, she got a breather when it became too much for her. Sometimes just seeing Nico in the audience helped her. It gave her a person she was not afraid of to focus on. Maki instead looked above the audience or down to the floor. She didn’t want to see Nico, even if she was the one she was singing to. She knew it would make tears fall. And she was not going to cry on stage, she had her pride, for something she could not have and for the guilt she felt towards Umi for the jealousy and desire she felt.

One evening when Maki came home from a late composing session in a nearby café, she found their flat in darkness.

“Umi?”, she called. Silence replied. Guess she isn’t home or asleep, Maki thought as she made her way into the living room. She reached for the switch and turned on the light.

“Good evening Maki.”, Nico said, sitting in a chair facing the entrance.

Maki screamed and scrambled back and had almost retreated through the outer door when her senses caught up to her.

“NICO!”, she stomped back into the living room.

“WHAT THE HELL!?! YOU SCARED THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?”, she screamed at Nico as she began to cry.

Nico was out of the chair in the heartbeat and ran over to Maki, taking the shaking redhead into her arms, resting Maki’s head on her shoulder.

“There, there. Nico is sorry. I didn’t think you’d react so strongly. Nico did put her shoes in the hallway, so you’d see them.”

Maki kept crying.

“You’re horrible, I hate you.” The tears didn’t stop.

“Nico knows you don’t.”, Nico’s voice was so soft. Like a fluffy blanket of safety. Maki started to calm down. She weakly held on to Nico’s embrace. It felt so warm, so natural.

“What... what are you doing here? Where is Umi?”

“She’s at my place…”, Maki’s eyes went side, “She’s fine. Don’t worry. Nico asked her to stay there for a bit because Nico wants to talk to you. Alone.”

“Me? Why? What is going on?”, Maki tried to wiggle out of Nico’s hug, but Nico held on.

“Nico will tell you shortly.”

Maki felt a heart beating feverously. Was it hers? Or Nico’s?

“You calm now?”

Maki nodded weakly.

“Let’s sit.”

They sat down across each other over the small sofa table. Nico had padded the seat next to her, but Maki had ignored it, pretending not to see the gesture.

Violet stared into crimson. Nico took a deep breath.

“Nico knows this will be hard to listen to, but please let Nico finish. I’ve already talked to Umi and she is onboard with it. Ok?”

Maki nodded. This didn’t sound good.

“Nico will to stop seeing Umi, as we do now. We’ll still be friends.”

Maki gaped. She wanted to shake Nico, to slap her, to tell her that Umi needed her, that she needed her, but she was frozen in place. The shock of the situation and her own control paralyzing her.

“Umi no longer needs what Nico can give. She needs more, and that… Nico cannot provide.”

“But…”

“Nico isn't finished! Anyway…”, Nico took another breath, “Umi knew from the start that what we had was temporary, and she accepted that. We won’t deny what was, ever, for it was what we both needed, and it was wonderful.”

Nico inhaled again.

“But there comes a time when you need to look at what you want and how to get it. And that is what we’ve done. And we can’t remain the way we have been if anyone of us is going to make it.”

“You promised…”

“No, Nico did you one better. She gave you her word she would never hurt Umi… and Nico didn’t. She’s the one that suggested it, you know.”

“I don’t believe…”

“She’ll be here in about an hour. You can ask her then and you’ll know that everything Nico said is the truth.”

There was sincerity and seriousness in Nico’s voice. Maki wanted to, no, did believe her, but it still felt like a copout.

“If you are lying…”

“Nico doesn't lie! Have a little faith in Nico. Say... do you remember what she told you that first evening?”

“Hmm... something about waiting for someone?”

“Nico awards you half a point for that answer. No, Nico said that she knew what and who she wanted but that Nico would have to wait.”

“Right…”

“Nico's done waiting.”

“Oh?”, Maki felt uneasy and confounded.

Nico got up and walked over to Maki.

“Nico… what are you doing?” Maki retreated into the chair, trying to hide her blush as Nico filled all her vision. She tried to look away, but the fire of those crimson discs caught her every time. A slender hand took a soft hold of her chin and guided it so that their faces were close they almost touched.

“Nico wants you, Maki.”

“What? But…”

“Nico knows you want her too.”

“What? No, I...”

“Nico knows. Remember, Nico knew you were Red Princess. She's kept her eye on you for a long time. Nico was waiting for you.”

“Me? No, this can’t be…”

“Right? Who cares? Love is what love is.”

Love. The word sent sparks though Maki. Was she in love with Nico? Was she hiding that she felt it? Had she been hiding it. Could she admit it? Maki shook free of the touch.

“No, this is… all wrong… I don’t, I don’t, I don’t…”, she violently shook her head, her heart beating faster and faster.

Nico caught Maki head in her hands. Maki immediately leaned into them, savouring the touch. She breathed heavily. She was cornered, no way to escape.

“Maki? Maki?”

Nico's voice reached her. She wanted to hear Nico say it more, to scream it, to whisper it. She wanted Nico to be hers. But, what about Umi? Would she hurt Umi? If she did, she could never forgive herself. Maybe Umi could. She would beg her, ask Umi on her knees to forgive her weaknesses. For feeling. She’d do anything to earn that forgiveness.

Maki took a leap of faith.

She leapt out of the chair, cupping Nico’s face in her hands and pushed her down to the floor, crashing her lips into Nico’s.

They tasted like watermelon.

Nico, surprised but ready, responded, kissing Maki back, running her tongue along Maki’s lips and being greeted by Maki’s. It was a war. Neither wanting to relent and neither being able to claim victory. Their hands moved along their bodies searching for skin to touch while their mouths fought furiously for control, the occasional moan escaping their throats.

Nico’s hand managed to find and opening and touched the naked skin of Maki’s back. The sensation, like a thousand shocks of electricity, jolted Maki out of her fever. Her eyes went wide and she jumped off Nico, crawling towards the entryway.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t… No… Umi… my god, what have I done…”, was all Maki was able to say as she continued to clamber towards to door.

Nico stood up, dazed.

“Maki? Maki!” she called, not being able to move.

How Maki wanted to run back, to say that it was just panic and that she was ok now, but her conscious mind had given way to the bird. She was fleeing. From herself, from her feelings, from the guilt. Maki reached the door, grabbed her shoes and ran out the door leaving Nico to sprint to the door, trying to catch the blur of red that kept saying, screaming, crying; “I’m sorry.”

When Maki got out of the building she ran, anywhere, nowhere, just away. Just away. Far away.

Several hours later, way past midnight, she dared to go home. She’d spent the time hiding in small streets, in shops she never frequented and in holy places. Anywhere where she could be alone with her thoughts. Where she could hide. Her phone had vibrated with call after call from Nico, messages had remained unread, Maki too scared to read them, to answer or to turn off her phone. It was her lifeline to a life she didn’t have anymore. She was cornered. Nowhere to run anymore. And she was tired. When Umi’s name and picture displayed on the caller ID, she knew she had to answer.

“Yes?”, her voice sounded small.

“Please come home.”, Umi’s voice was warm and inviting.

“I... can’t. I…”

“I know. It’s all right.”

Maki felt her eyes becoming moist.

“But I…” she couldn’t finish.

“Nico told me everything. It’s alright. Maki. Please come home. I worry about you.”

“I... I…”

“Maki.” Umi’s voice was soft. “I’m telling you. It’s ok. We need to talk, just you and me. Please.”

“But... Nico…”

“She’s not here. She won’t come here again unless you want it. She’s… sorry for jumping you like that.”

“No! She didn’t do anything wrong... it was me... I was... I… was shameful. I don’t know…”

“Maki! Come home. For me.”

Maki’s will was eroding, she wanted to come home, to her safe place, to her friend, but she was terrified.

“I’m … “

“Scared? I know. It’s ok. Trust me… Come home.”

Maki deliberated. Forgiveness, yes. She’d beg. Anything not to lose her friend, but what about Nico? That was a question for later.

“Ok. I will.”

Maki hung up.

* * *

“We are reaching the end of our time together tonight”, Umi says from the safety of her booth, watching the reactions to her words on the monitor.

“But before we do, we have a few more songs we’d like to share with you.”

She sees the faces cheering, smiling, happy.

“When the world scares you and you need a place where there is nothing wrong or right, when you need it you will find…”

“THE PLACE YOU HIDE!” comes the shout as a reply.

“Yes! A dear friend was once scared of something she had done, she felt alone and in shame. I was able to give her a place when there were no judges. No wrongs. It allowed her to decide for herself what she wanted. To become stronger. You can give that too; you can be scared but it’s ok. There will some someone who will give you, a place to hide.”

Maki starts to play, a memory of that time running through her mind. A memory of tears, strong emotions and most importantly love, unconditional and pure. As Umi starts to sing her avatar changes yet again into a bird with ash brown wings. Maki sings the backup as she reaches around to play a part on another keyboard.

The lighting softens and only Umi’s avatar is clearly visible. As the chorus edges closer, more and more layers of sound make themselves known, interweaving with each other to form a blanket.

A blanket for everyone who doesn’t dare, who lives in fear, who needs help.

The song and lyrics flow through the audience, Umi can see them singing, hugging each, happy despite the harsh reality of the world outside. This is where they can hide together, never alone.

As the music ends the people keep singing.

“… make me feel there is nothing more…”

Over and over again.

Maki signals the others and Rin and Sticks give them a rhythm of soft, sweeping guitar chords and a steady beat. Umi joins in and as the repeats start to lose their strength gives them a high and held ‘more’.

When she goes silent, the stage falls into darkness.

Umi’s voice comes over the band headsets.

“My Protector. Everyone ready?”

As they acknowledge the song selection, Umi’s avatar changes yet again.

It transforms from a tall bird back to a human. But the approximation of the everyone is gone. Instead the sharp features of a woman with brown eyes and Blue-black hair looks out over the sea of lights.

“We will leave you now with a song we have never played live before. It’s from our next album. Please enjoy and thank you so much for your time.”

The avatar of Umi Sonoda, known as Straight Arrow, throws out her arms and bows to the cheers and applause.

The sound of the metronome comes through the headset yet again. Maki touches the panel and a soft light swells up from underneath, carried to a ground hugging fog that falls from her stand down toward the stage proper. Her fingers touch the keys and the simple progression of notes paints pictures in the venue ceiling. On the 8th bar the drums join her and finally the guitar slides in to complete to soundscape with a steady beat. They all bob theirs heads as the slow beat sends wave after wave of movement through their bodies.

Umi start to sing.

“I… didn’t see…. who… protects me…?”

The song is special to Maki, one of the first of her new life. Its’ birth unexpected and wonderful. Each line of lyric a testament to the feeling of the time. A capsule, a plaque. Visible, hidden and exposed all at once.

The chorus starts, Rin leans more into her guitar. Maki start to mouth the words as she prepares herself to join in.

“You feel the feelings... for me / so I don’t have to face the things I do…” Maki sings as a second voice before she gets a small solo at the end of the chorus. The sound is raw, raspy assaulting the ear in its’ brutal honestly, not trying to masquerade as something else.

The song continues.

* * *

When Maki tried to unlock the door, it was already open. A small light shone in the living room. Taking off her muddy trainers, she gently walked into the living room, hoping that Umi was asleep so she could avoid the conversation that she knew would happen for a few more minutes.

Maki had no such luck, as she walked into the living room, Umi took off her reading glasses and smiled at her.

“Welcome home.”

It was just a simple greeting, but it meant so much more.

Maki went down on her knees before Umi could say anything more.

“I’m so sorry. Please. I beg you. Don’t hate me. I’ll do anything. Don’t kick me out! Let me still be your friend…”

Umi looked flabbergasted at Maki. This is not what she had expected. She tried to stifle a giggle. It didn’t work. She collapsed into a head of laughter on the sofa.

Maki’s head came up

“Umi!?! What…”, she stammered, perplexed.

“Stop laughing already!”, Maki protested, “I’m being serious!”

It took a lot of effort on Umi’s part to stop laughing, but she finally managed.

“Ohh dear…”, she said wiping away tears,” … that was unexpected.”

She let out a whistle of air.

“So… you’ll do anything?”

Maki stood up straight like a cadet.

“Yes.”

“Anything…”

“Yes.”

“Go out with Nico.”

“Yes, I will... ehh? What?”, Maki felt even more baffled now. What had Umi just said?

“You heard me! Go out with Nico.”

“But I… I kissed her, you were hardly broken up and I forced myself on her, I kissed her… I… broke our trust.”

“You did no such thing. You might have been a bit... shameless... but that is beside the point.”

Umi sat down and patted the seat next to her, much like Nico had done hours earlier.

“Maki. Sit down here please.”

“Ok”, came the meek reply.

As Maki sat down, she stared at the clenched fists resting in her lap.

“Answer me truthful. Are you in love with her?”

Maki sighed.

“Yes.”

“Since when?”

“I don’t know. Maybe since we met, or sometime between then and now? I don’t know.”

“Is that why you were avoiding us and her?”

“Yes.”

“I see.”

Umi regarded her.

“She’s felt the same way you know.”

“What Nico? Can’t be. She was with you.”

“If there is something Nico is, it is honest to a fault. Brutally so. So, I knew. I’ve known for a long time.”

“Then why…”

“You might not have noticed but Nico works hard. She cares and she is determined. I like that in her. But it is because of that that, her and I would never work. We’re too similar in that way.”

“I see.” Maki was still looking down, “I must have hurt her earlier.”

“She wasn’t happy, but she was mostly worried about you. She called after you had bolted, explained what had happened and asked where you could be so she could see to it that you’d be safe. I didn’t tell her. I know you can avoid a crowd and take care of yourself if you need to.”

“I should apologize to her.”

“Do one better, date her.”

“But... with you… won’t that be…”

“No. It’s ok. But if you become too shameless, I will tell you off.”

Maki thought for a second.

“She’s here? You said she wouldn’t be.”

“She is not in the flat. I don’t say things that aren’t true.”

“You think she’ll answer if I call?”

“Maybe, you can try.”, Umi smiled.

Maki rested her head in her hands, trying to focus.

“Ok. Here is goes.”

She selected Nico’s number from the contact list and pressed Dial.

After a second, a sound was heard from the door. Maki looked at Umi.

“You better look who’s at the door.”

Maki walked slowly through the hallway, the ringing becoming louder for each step until she was at the door. She opened it. Outside Nico sheepishly smiled holding her phone out.

"Hi..."

“Nico…”

“Maki…”

“Will you…”

“Yes, I’ll go out with you.”

The exchange was slow and deliberate. No one wanted to make a mistake.

“Ahh, good.”

“Yes. Excellent.”

They stood awkwardly in the doorway and looked at each other.

“Do you want to come in?”

“Yes… yes that would be… nice.”

Umi approached them from the hallway and said as she put on her jacket.

“Nico, I’ll borrow your place for tonight. Don’t disturb the neighbours, ok?”

Nico meekly held out her key, Umi took it.

“We’ll do our best, right Maki?”

“Yes.” Maki deadpanned.

Umi squeezed past them and walked over to the stairway.

She stopped and looked back at them.

“Get in you two. Now!”

Maki and Nico scurried into the flat and closed the door. Umi heard a thump from the door a few seconds later as she slowly descended the steps.

“Shameless”, she said to no one in particular.

* * *

The song ends. The lights go dark. They leave the stage. Only the projection is still there, lingering for a few seconds before the projectors are turned off.

The audience chant for a few more minutes, as the venue illumination slowly starts to make itself known and the doors open to allow everyone exit.

Maki, Sticks and Rin sit in a room backstage, sipping water and drying themselves with towels. Umi enters, casually dressed and smiling.

“Another successful show.”

Everyone nods. The door opens behind Umi.

“You guys were great. From what I could see, we left them smiling and happy. The best reward we can get.”

“I wouldn’t mind a ramen sponsorship.”, Rin replies.

Everyone laughs.

“I’ll get right on that.” Nico says, walks over to Umi and gives her a peck on the cheek.

“HEY!” Maki jumps out of her chair.

“Hehe” Nico says, “knew that would get you. Come over here!”

They kiss.

As they separate, Rin comments:

“Hey, what about us?”

“We’re not stopping you two.”, Nico grins.

“Shameless.”

**Author's Note:**

> The music/lyrics mentioned in this fic is mostly by British music group 'mesh' with a guest appearance by Canadian musician 'Loreena McKennitt'.
> 
> Check out your favorite music/streaming site and give it a listen!
> 
> mesh:  
album: Automation Baby  
\- Just Leave Us Alone  
album: Who watches over me  
\- Leave you nothing  
\- The place you hide  
EP: Friends like these  
\- From this height  
album: Looking Skyward  
\- My protector
> 
> Loreena McKennitt:  
album: The mask and the mirror  
\- Prospero's speech
> 
> As mentioned, this is an experiment. Please leave your comments on what you thought about it. Tips on how to improve are allways welcome.


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